My Remarks at the Rape Victim Advocates 40th Anniversary Celebration

Delivered Thursday, June 26, 2014, at Revel Chicago:

Thank you, Marta, [previous speaker Marta Coronado, sexual assault survivor] for sharing those powerful words with us. Please let’s recognize again Marta’s testimonial. That really speaks to the heart what we do at RVA.

Hello, everyone. My name is Michael Happ, and it’s been my privilege to serve on the Board of this wonderful organization for the past five and a half years. And it’s an honor to have played some small part in the incredible 40 years of work we're celebrating tonight.

As I look at this room, I see staff and volunteers, survivors, supporters, friends and family. But more than that, what I see is a community. A remarkable community of survival and strength, support, and advocacy. It’s a blessing to be a part of that community. 

Also looking at the room, I think it's important to remember (as I'm sure many of you do) that while we're here tonight in this beautiful venue, enjoying one other's company, celebrating decades of tremendous work, somewhere in our city, possibly not far from where we are right now, someone is having the worst night of her life.

Someone is having a bad night that may not be the worst night, because this has happened before. Someone's being told it's her fault, that she had it coming. Someone's being told he should stop crying and man up, that this isn't something that happens to boys. Someone's not being told anything because she hasn't said anything, out of fear or misplaced shame.

And somewhere, someone is sitting in an emergency room, beaten and bloodied, physically or spiritually and emotionally, or all of these. And she may feel shocked, or frightened, or furious. Or a mix of all these feelings and more. She may feel lost and alone, like she has nowhere to turn. And she may feel that she can’t see a way forward from here.

But what she may not realize yet, is that also at this very moment, thanks to this community, she is not alone. She is not alone. Because right now, rushing to her side is a very brave, compassionate, highly-trained advocate who will say, "I can help." "I believe you." "You have options." And she does.

In addition to the many difficult conversations and moments she’ll have tonight—which her advocate will help her through—she may choose to report her assault to the police, and need someone to go to court with her. She may take advantage of our counseling services to help rebuild her life.  And while all this is happening, our education team is out there trying to prevent this happening to even one more person, working toward a world without this kind of violence.

Now in the powerful personal story Marta just shared with us, we heard her say "I wouldn't be here without RVA." We heard her use the words "saved my life." And we’ve heard those same sentiments from countless other survivors. I think it’s important to recognize that when these people use those words, they’re not using them lightly. It’s not simply a turn of a phrase. They’re not speaking metaphorically. They're choosing those words very deliberately, to tell us what they know in their hearts to be true, which is that this service literally saved them. 

That’s the impact that all of us have the opportunity to play a part in by being a part of this community.

Now this community has supported this vital work in so many ways: You’ve given your thoughts and prayers, which matter—ask anyone who’s personally connected to this issue.  They matter a lot. And you’ve given your time and energy, your labor—volunteering and serving on boards and committees, planning events, joining us at demonstrations like Standing Silent Witness. And we thank you for that. And you’ve been educators yourselves, raising awareness with your friends and through social media. We’re so very grateful for all of that support.

But the truth is, the indelicate truth, is that none of this work that we're celebrating tonight, none of it can continue without your financial contributions. We need your money.

So on behalf of the Board and Rape Victim Advocates, I ask you tonight to dig deep and give what you can. If you’re able, please step up and say yes, I'm ready to support this work that's gone on for 40 years and I want to make sure it goes on for another 40 years or as long as it has to.

If you’re ready and able, please find one of our volunteers around the room holding up glow necklaces and make a donation of any size. Thank you all so much.  Good night.